Grand Samoan Adventure Grand Finale: Prologue

The job search is going OK, I guess. I've had three interviews and two of them are still possibilities, and I can I honestly say that I'd like to work for either one. And not just because they might be reading this. On the other hand, I've been looking since December and I'm still not employed. Today I went to a job fair at Carowinds (the same amusement park from this entry on my trip home). I stood in line forever¹, mostly standing between a teenager with multiple lip piercings and a group that was very, very concerned that the drug test might be today.

So anyway, back to last November...

*LOST-style flashback*

I decided somewhere in the last two weeks, since that this was my last, and possibly best chance to visit an island in the region that I had never been to, that I should, you know, go. Fiji and New Zealand were out of my budget and schedule, so it had to be either Ofu, a beautiful little island that's a part of the Territory over in the Manu'a group with a nice little beach resort, or the big island of Savai'i in Independent Samoa. Since this trip was to be so abrupt and everyone else was going to be working, I'd be going on this adventure by myself.

The problem with Savai'i was that it was relatively far. I had to fly to Samoa, take a taxi to the ferry wharf, then take a 90 minute ferry to the island. And that's just to get there.

The problem with Ofu was ASG. There used to be direct flights to Ofu, but then, at probably the worst time imaginable, ASG ruled that the airstrip in Ofu was too small to be safely used, but didn't give them any funds to expand it.² So then the only way to get there was to fly to the island of Ta'u, also in the Manu'a group, and then overpay for a small ferry to Ofu. And then get back that same way. One of my friends told me that while riding that ferry, it started to sink and they all had to bail the water out.

So, it seemed like either way I'd be flying to one island and then taking a ferry to the island that I actually wanted to go to. For a while I also considered just flying to Ta'u and staying there, although there's not much to do there besides hike by yourself and there isn't much to see other than Saua, the spot where Polynesian people are said to have originated from. Also, there's no place to stay there. Though it would have been fitting to wrap up this blog with a visit to the island where the book that this blog got its title from took place.

Finally someone explained to me that Ofu was good for relaxing and navel-gazing, but that Savai'i was the place to go for an adventure. I made my decision.

I'd like to see Ofu someday...



¹ Just like any other trip to an amusement park, amirite?
² By "worst time possible," I mean that the supply boat was dry-docked for longterm repairs that were made longer by ASG's attempts to destroy the company fixing them, and that was done when there were still months left before they would be finished. For a while there Ofu was being resupplied by airdrops.

Rockin' Like A Hurricane

You know, occasionally, especially when my search for a new job is getting me down, I wonder if I should have ever left Samoa.

And then right now I see that there's a Category 2 Hurricane about to hit the island dead-on. There's a lot more info on JZ's blog on the list to the right.

By contrast, here in the States, I'm going to be going to a Carolina Hurricanes game on Monday.

Yeah, I think I made the right decision.


Real update soon-ish. It should be the cool kind with pictures.

In the meantime, please enjoy another cool animation of an ancient Samoan legend that seems to stray from the traditional version. Everyone in the comments says it was usually different.
Also, is that some kind of Samoan flute that I've never heard of playing in the background or was the animation made by some genius who decided that a Native North American instrument would be appropriate for a Samoan story?

Also, just because.

Ending Tropes

So, I sorta forgot to mention: I've moved away from American Samoa and am now back home in the States for good. Yeah. Just thought I'd bring that up.

I really wanted to be a little more clever about it. Write a two-page entry about how half a bag of baby carrots sent me to the hospital with a 104 degree temperature¹ and end it with and out-of-the-blue twist ending of "Good thing I'm leaving soon."

But as you may have guessed, preparing to move 7,000 to a different hemisphere, moving 7,000 miles to a different hemisphere, and then putting my life back on track after moving 7,000 to a different hemisphere has really taken up a lot of writing time. I'm starting to feel like if I don't get something in quick, I'll never get back to this blog at all. This blog is facing a cosmic deadline known as "before I forget completely."

So I present to you my account of what it was like in the last few weeks, as my time on the Rock drew to a close. In another weird, listlike form of "tropes" of course. Writing it out conventionally wouldn't really work, since it's not a coherent story.

Ending Fatigue- Starting at about six months left, you start to keep in mind that you're "about to leave." But six months left feels almost exactly the same as it did when you had no real plans to leave. Probably because almost nothing has changed, and that you don't want your bosses to know too soon that you plan on skipping out, so you don't tell anyone. And if you're like me, you've always had a "Bucket List" of things that you wanted to do before you leave, and you've already done most of them.

And then five months left feels the same as six months left.
Four months...same.
Three months left...feel the same.
Two months left...feel the same. Actually have to think about whether or not you'll be able to use it all up when buying stuff in bulk from Cost-U-Lots. Nothing else is different.
One month left...feel the same.
Three weeks left...feel the same, except for about 15 minutes after you book your tickets home.

And then...
Seriously About to End- I'm hiking through the jungle on one trail that I've always wanted to try and so deep in the woods that I later find some kind of tree worm dangling from the brim of my hat, when I realize that there won't be enough daylight to finish this trail today. Maybe I should come back next weekend. No, I have plans then. Maybe the weekend after. Then it hits me.

There. won't. be. a. weekend. after.

I guess I don't reach this phase until I get to the point where I actually start to run out of time, and the fact that I'm leaving starts to seriously affect my life.

The Reveal- After almost five moths of keeping it a secret, it was time to tell my boss that I was leaving. Then everyone else, via a Facebook posting. Reaction was mixed, mostly depending on if you were a friend from home or a friend from the Rock. Finally, I didn't have to lie about why I wasn't shopping at Cost-U-Lots anymore.

How Could You Ever Leave Samoa- "But Samoa is the best place in the universe! It's absolutely perfect in every way! There's no poverty, rampant bacteria, collapsing economy, language that you'll never be able to learn, widespread corruption, power-mad politicians that try to close any business they personally don't like, super-high cost of everything, or people overreacting to things you write on your blog. Why would you ever want to leave? The island is BEAUTIFUL!"

It's Just Not Home- As much as those things bother me, they're not really in A-list of reasons why I left (except maybe the bacteria one, which is how I ended up in the hospital). But I have a story that tells it pretty well.

About a month before I left, I was hanging out at Tisa's for what ended up being the last time. A Samoan man told me about how he lived on the American west coast for years and absolutely loved it, but he couldn't stay there forever because it just wasn't his home, and he didn't want it to be.

How true. How true.

For The Last Time- "Wow, I'm leaving my workplace for the last time." "Wow, I'm going to my island church for the last time." "Wow, I'm going to my favorite restaurant for the last time." "Wow, I'm getting gas on the island for the last time." "Wow, I just chased off a pack of snarling stray dogs for the last time." "Wow, I'm leaving my workplace for the last time, for real this time." "Wow, I'm using the bathroom next to my workplace for the last time...I think."

The Long Goodbye- The same sort of thing, but with people. Saying goodbye to the people I worked with for two years. Saying goodbye to my friends from the Dissociates and church. Saying goodbye to the security guard at the building where I worked. Saying goodbye to that random neighbor who never introduced himself but we'd say "hi" to each other when we passed. The whole process involved a lot of awkward "Well, if I don't see you between now and when I leave a week from now, uh...have a nice life!" I think I ended up saying goodbye to a few people three or four times.

The Auction- A tradition among palangis on the island that probably began when Phineas Taft became the first American contractor that I made up to get fed up with the island in 1901 is the "Leaving the Island Sale." Unlike every other time most people move somewhere in their lives, it's waaay too expensive to take most of that stuff with you.² So you have to sell it, give it away, or throw it away. Although sometimes done as a traditional yard sale, the cultural-rich experience of the Leaving Sale now usually done via the famous Dissociates Email List (i.e. we email each other using the all-purpose email list, tack on the address of a few Samoan friends that might be interested, and ask "who wants to buy this stuff?") Then about a year ago, someone discovered that you can make online auctions with a Google spreadsheet, and those of use feeling that it was worth a lot more hassle to make about $35 more started doing it as a very drawn out online auction. This process was more fun than a barrel full of turkey tail.

Moving Out Nihilism- ASPA raising power rates again? "I'm leaving soon anyway." Good friend moved away a whole month before you? "I'm leaving soon anyway." Island economy in danger of collapsing now that the tsunami-related FEMA money that supplanted the closed cannery has stopped coming in? "Good thing I'm leaving soon anyway." Furry Vengeance playing at the only theater instead of the smash-hit move you were pumped to see? "I'm leaving soon anyway." Roads flooded? "I'm leaving soon anyway." Stub your toe while walking through your apartment? "I'm leaving soon anyway." Cable company switched from amazing CNN International to inferior US version of CNN? "OH COME ON!"

Final Food Problem- Sure, not shopping at Cost-U-Lots as much for the last month or so is no big deal, but you really get into problems when you get down to the last two weeks or so. You're afraid to buy almost anything, as you're supposed to be cleaning out your pantry at this point, not adding to it. And for the same reason, you end up eating a lot of really random meals. For the last week or so, I ate an awful lot of frozen chicken nuggets with Oreo cookies and long-expired Kraft Mac & Cheese. I paid good money for that food, and it's not like I can take it home with me.

But then at the same time, sometimes you clean out your pantry a little too well, and you have almost nothing left to eat, and thus have to go to the store anyway to buy overpriced basics that you'll get to use about half of. I still ended up having to throw away quite a bit of stuff. Especially expired mac and cheese.

Book Ends- So many random things from my last days on the island mirrored my first days there:
-No car
-No furniture that didn't come with the apartment
-Not a lot of food in my pantry/fridge, for the reasons discussed above
-3/4 of the stuff I own is in a USPS warehouse somewhere, and will be for months because I got the cheapest rate on shipping
-It's November, which meant everything from the holidays approaching to breadfruit hanging from every other tree
-Random Samoans I just met are asking me if it's my first time on the island
-I was to fly through Honolulu and Las Vegas, just like the first time

What Sort of Ending- How would I end my time in Samoa? Maybe a Dance Party Ending. And having a Bittersweet Ending is kind of inevitable, seeing as I'm leaving almost every friend I've met over the last two years for good. Maybe I'd just sorta ride my plane into the sunset. And what could be more appropriate for Samoa than an Everybody Laughs Ending? Or maybe using all these TV Tropes entries is something only fans of the site will appreciate, and I should stop doing it.

Well, as it turned out, I got a Grand Finale to my Grand Samoan Adventure.

More on that soonish.


¹ This actually happened.
² Despite this, everyone still takes a lot of stuff back with them. I mailed myself about 20 boxes of every size, and I've known people who rented out space in shipping containers, or even rented the whole thing for themselves.

This may have worked better as a Carnac the Magnificent joke

A few things I never thought I'd see in the same news article:

-Swains Island, a fairly remote part of American Samoa that I've never been to.
-Wikileaks
-Good, coherent journalism
-Something by the Samoa News

And yet, you can find it all here.

Real entry coming soon. It's time I started wrapping this blog up.

Electile Dysfunction

Note: This post was originally written on the night of November 2nd, 2010

It's almost 11 PM local time, and I'm still at work. Such is the life of media employees on election night. And no, we don't have an 11 o'clock newscast, or even a 10 o'clock one, or even a 6 PM one. Heck, as far as TV is concerned, we don't even have a newscast at all.

But I digress. I'm here to give continuing coverage on our "slideshow channel," Island Info Channel 13. A few individual polling stations have yet to submit their results, and for all I know they've already gone to bed and plan on counting the ballots tomorrow afternoon. But now I've been told that I can go home as soon as the channel is back to normal, so now I mostly just have to wait for most of the night for the computer that runs it to finish loading.

Anyway, the voters of the Rock have roundly rejected a number of "revisions" to the territorial constitution. Revisions, not amendments. Amendments would require approval by the United States Congress. And I don't think they'd approve of all of them, particularly one that basically says that the Governor and a 2/3rds majority of the Fono can nullify any Federal law they feel like. Come on AS, we in the Carolinas tried this once before, and it could've gotten really ugly.

Though instead of a serious standoff, it probably would have been more like the following conversation where I imagine the Federal government talking to ASG via text message for some reason, probably because they know the Feds can't be bothered to actually call down here:

ASG: No $7.25/hr. minimum wage for us, LOL!
FEDUSA: LOLWUT?
ASG: Yeah, we dnt want it. So it dsn't count.
FEDUSA: LOLWUT?
ASG: We said we cld nullify laws that we don't like in our cnstitutinal revisns!@
FEDUSA: LOLWUT?
ASG: We revisd our constitution.
FEDUSA: U hav a constitution? & U can amend it without us?
ASG: Hey, we only need ur permission to amend it, not 2 revise it.
FEDUSA: ...LOLWUT?
ASG: Come on, its totly diffrnt!
FEDUSA: LOLNO.
ASG: Plz?
FEDUSA: LOLNO. LOL.

(Cue random commenter telling me that I spelled "different" wrong)

So yeah, good on ya, voters of AmSam.

The other big race was for the territory's nonvoting Representative to Congress, which I can't help but notice that none of the major American news networks have covered in their website maps that supposedly cover the whole country. What's up with that? Anyhow, the seat appears to have been retained by 398-term delegate Eni Faleomavaega, who I actually quite like, especially since he was cool enough to do an interview with Steven Colbert that I posted way back when I first started this blog. And later come on our show and talk about how terrible an idea some of those Constitutional "revisions" were.

But the only really funny thing about that race, besides Tuika Tuika in general (who is really not the "ha ha" kind of funny), is that early on, a candidate who should probably remain nameless ran on the campaign slogan "Manifest Our Destiny," apparently not knowing any of the horrible Indian-killing history behind Manifest Destiny. But I never got to tell her, because she probably would have pulled all of those ads that she ran with us using that slogan.

Yeah. Now you know what my sense of humor looks like when I'm really tired.

Something I meant to post ages ago!

No time to write about the days after the tsunami now, but I'm really due for another entry while I work on one about something else entirely.

Here's some epic ukulele playing here on-island from a few months back. It's by Taimane, who is basically the Jimi Hendrix of the ukulele. She's so awesome that she would play duets with Don Ho, even though she's currently only 21, meaning that she would have been about 18 at the time.

You may want to view these videos in a separate window by double-clicking them, unless you just don't care for the right side of videos.

Adam's Story Part 2: Pictures

In the days and weeks after the tsunami last year, my TV channel wasn't running and wouldn't be for at least a few days. But as you might remember from my entry about the actual day, we did have some pretty strong contacts with the international media. So in lieu of regular work, I was to travel around the island and film/photograph the devastation on the island and send it to the Associated Press via an FTP server.

For the anniversary of the tsunami, I had planned on posting an album of photos that I had taken all over the island in the days and weeks after the event, but I was slowed down for a very good reason¹.

But anyway, it's finished now and is available for viewing here on Facebook.

I've actually lost a lot of my 2009 photo archive, so, lucky for you, it's a normal-sized album instead of the enormous monstrosities that I tend to create.

I had wanted to also write about some specifics of what I did, but I figured that this entry is late enough already. Hopefully, I'll get to do that next time.

¹I'm just now getting into the show Lost, which is a program that I can really relate to.