A Tale of Lua Samoas, Part 4

So the next day, back at Kolio's, we start the day with a nice breakfast that I don't have any pictures of. But for lunch, everything is cooked on an umu. Umus are made as follows. A lot of these pictures are pretty blurry, but I'll try to remember what I can.

1. Start a small fire and let it burn a bit. Either that or put tinfoil over a bunch of reddish logs.

2. Dump the hot coals off of the sheet of metal onto a pile of rocks. Put out any remaining fire by stabbing it with a pointed stick.

3. Put a couple of foods, such as uh...yellow-looking things right up next to the coals.

4. Yeah, this one really does involve tin foil. Wrap up whatever it is you're cooking and get it ready. And make sure you have plenty of leaves.

5. Tinfoil things
___________
Leaves
___________
Hot Coals

Yeah, sometimes I'm too lazy to use sentences.

6. Put more leaves on top of the whole shebang. That should make it all oven-like.

This dog is eating breadfruit. Your argument is invalid.

7. Take pictures of dogs behind you while you wait for it to cook.


8. If you want to split open coconuts, sit on the wooden part of this thing and spike them on the pointy metal part. But you really should have done that before we started cooking. What's wrong with you? Haven't you done this before? Sheeish!*


8. When it's done, it should look something like this. Especially if you put a leaf-basket on top.


*No, they didn't do that part out of order, I just took that picture out of order. That's the joke. They know what they're doing.

A Tale of Lua Samoas, Part Three

Where was I? Oh yes, it was a month ago, and we were in Samoa, on our way to Sene's wedding. Kolio and I met up with Lupe and Joey. We were headed straight for the wedding!

But first we decided to stop and look at the Baha'i temple. If I've got this blog set up right, you can click it to see a bigger image.

I think it was actually bigger than that.

From there we went directly to the resort where the wedding would be held. It had been hit really hard by the tsunami, and was in the middle of being rebuilt.



But it was still a very nice place.


Looks like a goo place for a wedding.


It is.Did I mention that Joey performed the ceremony? Yep, apparently my boss is a preacher in the Universal Life Church, AKA That Preacher Thing With the Ads In Rolling Stone. I didn't know this until the ceremony began. You learn something every day, I suppose.

A lot of family members are there. All the pictures during and after the ceremony, by the way, are transferred from the video that I took and will edit into their wedding video.


There is cake.
And dancing.

And a beautiful sunset, none of which tranfered to stills that well.

There is also a great seafood buffet, about a dozen more guests, Lupe singing "The Rose," and a belly dancer. None of which I have good stills of anyway.

Congratulations to Sene and Angie! I'll have your video done sooner or later!

....


...what?


Yes, there was REALLY a belly dancer after the reception!

...

...Yes, she was kind of hot. But, like nearly every other woman I've met since moving down here, she was soon telling me about her husband and kids. But her story was interesting, as she's an American citizen who just went to on vacation to Samoa a few years back and decided to stay. And by stay, I mean move back several years later when she got the chance.

...I wouldn't.

Anyhow, it was a great wedding. But I had a whole 'nother half-day on the island, which there will be a whole 'nother entry for, along with a lot of general observations that I made.

A Tale of Lua Samoas, Part Two

Before I get back to talking about the wedding, I have more exciting Internet-related news!

I came home from work about two weeks ago to discover that my Internet wasn't working again, even though it had been a few days since I had had any problems. I called up my ISP and found out that it was intentionally turned off. According to them, I had called a few days ago and told them to turn off my Internet connection because I was leaving the island permanently.

Yeah. I wasn't.

So they switched it back on within a few minutes, and everything was fine until about a week later when one of my coworkers called me and told me that he had just learned that a BlueSkynet crew would be headed to my apartment later that day to de-install my Internet antenna, 'cause, you know, I was moving off the island and stuff. Another call to Customer Service put a stop to that. They said they didn't know anything about who had called or anything like that.

So now I know that BlueSkynet is not only self-aware, it's apparently gained the ability to make phone calls.

___________________________________________________


Anyhow, my second day in Samoa started with a big Samoan breakfast and a drive along the shoreline back into town.


Once in Apia, we drove past the Magik Theater of Copyright Infringement.

Click for a bigger version that shows you how bad it really is. And I'm not talking about the shakiness of my camera.

Then we drove around that part of the island a bit.

Samoa's Parliamentary building, or something like that.

OMG WE'RE DRIVING ON THE LEFT-HAND SIDE!!!1!!!11!!!!

A future government building that is being paid for by the Chinese Government.

I'm sure they expect nothing in return.

The Faleata Sports Complex, home of the 2007 South Pacific Games.

Did you know they had South Pacific Games? You do now.

The other Maliu Mai. Just in case you thought it was the one in American Samoa.

Then we had lunch. And Kolio told me that the story everyone on the radio was talking excitedly about was that an emu had been captured on the island, and they were trying to figure out where it had come from. Actually, I think that part had happened the day before, but I forgot to mention it.

When I start telling things out of order like that, I'm either trying a new video editing technique or it's time for bed. More next time, including the actual wedding.

A Tale of Lua Samoas, Part One

So my Internet appears to be finally fixed for good and now I can get back to writing without interru+++CARRIER LOST+++

...


...Okay, we can't be totally certain that it's back for good yet, but I think it's usable for now. Anyhow, I was preparing for my trip to Independent Samoa. I had locked the doors, turned off the A/C, and was all ready to go. I did one final check of my apartment, patted my pockets to feel the reassuring shapes of my wallet, keys, and passport, and went off. I was going to be right on time, arriving exactly when the airline had told me to be there. I hopped in my car and drove to the airport. I pulled into the parking lot, said hey to the guy that you pay for parking, and reached into my pocket for my wallet to grab a dollar

...and found my camera, which happens to be almost the exact size, shape and weight of my wallet. My wallet was nowhere to be found.

Oh great.

Long story short, I found my wallet within the hour and managed to get onto the very next flight with very little trouble. And because of a far less amusing story, I was only able to take camera phone pictures during the flight, but they came out OK enough.

Due to the camera's shutter speed or something, the propeller blades came out looking really cool. Either that or the plane was breaking down very quickly. More on that last theory in a bit.


The American Samoa Golf Course and the village of Ill'ili.

AHAHAHA! I AM FINALLY GETTING OFF THIS ROCK! IN YOUR FACE, TUTUILA!! AHAHAHAHA!!!shift-one!

I landed at Fagali'i Airport, a place so obscure that Wikipedia doesn't even know it's been back in operation since last July. And as we land, a very loud buzzer goes off in the cockpit. We weren't ever told exactly what that was all about, except that it's not a normal part of the landing process, which I presume is bad. Anyway, I believe that any landing you can walk away from is a good landing, so I didn't dwell on it too much.

I proceed to go through customs, pick up my checked luggage from the baggage claim area (a spot on the floor where it was unceremoniously thrown, and I mean literally thrown), and meet Kolio, my friend and co-worker who is originally from this island and whom I've co-rented a car with. We give a ride to two people I met on the flight; one from Switzerland and another from some less exotic country. We drive around the island for a bit, which is beautiful. Also much more spacious than the cramped island I've been living on.


Also, the car has the driver's side on the right because, as you may recall, the nation switched to lefthand-side driving back in September. We stop at a small roadside stand that happens to be run by Mickey Mouse's creepy cousin.

What he's saying translates to "I will devour your soul just as I devour this ice cream!"

Inside a different store, they are selling pigs' feet. Not pickled or anything, just pigs' feet.

I'm sure they're delicious, if you happen to be a wolf.

The stereo of our rental car. Notice the ChineseormaybeJapanese writing in the bottom-left corner.

Wait, there's got to be more to it than that...

BAM! It's also DVD Player! Bet you didn't see that coming!

I'm sure "BAM!" and "Didn't see that coming!" are phrases someone who uses it while driving will become very familiar with.

We arrived at Kolio's sister's house, where we'll both be staying for the weekend. They were very gracious hosts, and I had a very nice time staying there. But I'm sure you're all worn out from having your face rocked by that Transformer stereo, so I'll just end it for tonight with a nice picture of Kolio, his niece and our rental car. Aww, what a cute rental car!

It's like the offspring of an SUV and a teensy Eurotrash car.

Island Fever

Good news. The island made it through the hurricane with barely a scratch. For whatever reason, it made a sharp turn at the very last second and the eye of the storm passed about 20 miles to the south of the island. Turns out that, like tourists, hurricanes don't want to come here either.



Jamie was the only casualty. And his family is doing better than I thought. Turns out that he wasn't the sole income earner for the family after all (his wife is a teacher) and his family is has strong connections to the rest of the Filipino community and will probably be getting all the help they need. Although his death is still a terrible tragedy, his family is a lot better off than it first seemed. So yeah.

Anyway, I've heard quite a few times that in order to maintain your personal sanity, you need to get off the island at least once every six months. Three months if you count trips to Western Samoa.

I first arrived on this island in November 2008. My first and only trip off was for 48 hours in July, and that was to Western Samoa. That was just over seven months ago. Not counting that brief vacation, I haven't been anyplace other than this tiny island for 1 year, 3 months and 6 days, or 40,003,200 seconds.

And to that I have to say:

Asdlfjk¨hasflkø∑jy&asflkjh afdfucmqieruexn! Uy2@0£uynpolneayƒ¢∞¶• fbae≤.

UYEGRB¥¢•≠¡ycu¡«• Dan Quayle †∑ßheoln§£∂çp]';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
Sdftrz T.

This past Christmas was the worst. In case being away from home for Christmas wasn't bad enough, about half of my on-island friends went off-island, plus I was going through some crazy unbloggable drama. It got to the point where I was fighting the urge to run outside with a shovel and start digging a hole in the ground just to deal the island a little damage. And I don't even own a shovel.

Hey, it makes sense when you're insane.

But that's all changed now. I finally got to go to Western again this past weekend, to attend my friend and coworker Sene's wedding. And it was amazing. The wedding too. I'm about to start writing about it, and will get the first part published as soon as my Internet connection stops cutting out for hours at a time.

Yes, I realize that the fact that I went somewhere last weekend makes a lot of the details of the second paragraph technically untrue, seeing as it's all about how I haven't been anywhere in ages. I actually wanted to write this entry about a week ago but my connection kept cutting ou



ENDNOTE: Right after I ended this entry with that joke, I lost my web connection just before I could hit "Publish." And I did the same joke with my Facebook status, and the exact same thing happened. Clearly my ISP has become sentient.

February 22nd, 2010: The day BlueSkyNet became self-aware.

Cyclone

Cyclone Rene is expected to hit the island around midnight tonight. Right now the heavy rain and winds are coming in waves that last a few minutes at a time and then disappear. I think they must be the outer arms of the storm waving over the island. It's incredibly weird to be waiting the storm out instead of evacuating, which is the first rule for hurricane survival nearly everywhere else in the world.

I was hoping to blog the whole way through the storm and maybe even provide CNN with more awesome footage, but it seems that ASPA, the territorial power company, is expected to turn off power to most of the island in a few hours, due to the generators requiring someone to stay outside to maintain them. Perhaps I should be using this last hour or so of electricity to cook dinner, but hey.

The hurricane has claimed its first (indirect) fatality. A maintenance worker slipped and fell off of the wet roof of an apartment building while attempting to fix something up there. Not just any maintenance worker, but my friend Jamie Gulapa. And not just any apartment building, but this one. He was such a friendly guy, always got the jobs done (even the really difficult ones like fixing my air conditioning when I first got here, which required him finding about a trillion different replacement parts), and was always willing to help me get inside whenever I was dumb enough to get my keys lost, stolen or locked inside. It's hard to believe he's gone so suddenly like that. Worst of all, he was the sole income earner for his wife and two kids.

Before work this morning I was in my kitchen eating breakfast and listening to hurricane coverage on the radio via Channel 13 (a slideshow-like channel that I run that carries 93 KHJ as its audio feed) I saw someone climb up onto the roof via my balcony and didn't think much of it, seeing as Jamie and a few others had been working on the roof just a few weeks ago and that's how they got up there. I continued getting ready for work, leaving the kitchen to go shower. It was really eerie to learn I had been on of the last people to see him alive. Even more eerie was what greeted me on my balcony when I came home this evening.

Also, I guess this means he was up there without shoes on. Wonder if that was a factor.

His shoes. And I thought it was surreal to see his car sitting in the parking lot, knowing that it's owner had died.

I'm also kind of glad I hadn't asked him to board up my windows, or I'd be thinking I was the reason he was up there.
___________________________________________________________

In other developments, I'm about as ready for this storm as I can be (minus the windows thing I just mentioned). I even bought and filled a five-gallon water container. I made one last trip to KS Mart on my way back from work today and got all of the remaining essentials: Matches, candles, fresh fruit, and, of course, beer. I also looked around for an affordable battery-operated radio, but I couldn't find one.

KS Mart clearly wasn't thinking of emergencies when they put together their selection of candles. But I'll tell you what, if you're in the market for eensy scented candles, or oversize three-wick Christmas candles (complete with holly), that's the place to go. I ended up buying two candles in glass jars with Spanish-language labels of Catholic saints on them.

I'd like to take this moment to thank my sister for sending me a case of AA batteries as part of her Christmas presents. Anna, I don't really know what you intended them for, but as it turns out, I have a battery-operated radio after all: my portable CD player that happens to have an FM radio, last used right before I got an iPod nearly four years ago. Thanks, Anna!

Anyway, time to try and microwave some Bagel Bites before the power is cut off.

FFFFFFUUUUUU-

CyclOWNED!

-UNNY how these things go. One day you're frantically preparing for a cyclone, and the next day there's a cyclone bearing down on the island. Seems like just yesterday I was vaguely aware that this cyclone was headed this way.

By the way, if you look at the center of that image of the approaching Cyclone Rene really closely, you can see the red outlines of the two bigger Samoan islands, which gives you an idea of scale. See them, just to the left of the main part of the storm? Aren't they cute?

You can also watch an animated weather map of it here. Assuming both that you have a halfway-decent Web connection and are not reading the archived version of this post in the distant future.

It's a "cyclone" here, not a "hurricane," even though they're really about the same thing. It's mostly being rated on the Fijian version of the cyclone scale. Currently, from the best source I can find (a bunch of weather geeks posting updates to a forum I found on Google) it's currently a Category 2 Tropical Cyclone, which would be a Category 1 hurricane on the superior American system, with winds of about 65 MPH.

Also, since it's in the Southern Hemisphere, it's going to be rotating in the opposite direction. A "reverse hurricane," if you will. Therefore, it should be building up everything in its path instead of destroying it. That's how a lot of people I've talked to are reacting, anyhow.